A Letter to the Father Who Knows He’s Failing

You’re Not Too Late Dear Dad, I know you’re reading this at midnight. Or during your lunch break. Or in the parking lot before you walk into the house, trying to figure out how to be different tonight than you were last night. I know because I’ve sat across from hundreds of men who looked…

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The Five Boys Who Changed My Life

Before I Had a Credential, I Had a Calling Before I was Dr. Clay, I was Captain Lessor-USAF. No PhD. No license. No program. No book. A guy in his twenties proudly serving his country who knew what it felt like to grow up without a father who showed up—and who couldn’t stop noticing the…

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The Wound Nobody Talks About

When Dad Is in the House but Not in the Room When people hear the words “father wound,” they think of the absent father. The dad who left. The dad in prison. The dad who died. And yes—that wound is devastating. Nearly one in three American boys is growing up without a resident father, and…

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The Father He Watches

Why Your Son Is Studying Every Man in the Room There’s a boy in every classroom, every dugout, every youth group who is doing something the adults around him don’t realize. He’s watching. Not the way kids watch TV or watch a game. He’s watching the way a student watches a master. He’s studying. Every…

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What Thirty Years of Working with Angry Boys Has Taught Me

When Everything Changed The first boy who changed everything was fourteen. Big for his age. Referred for “behavioral problems”—which is clinical shorthand for “nobody knows what to do with him.” He’d been expelled from two schools. His mother was exhausted. His stepfather didn’t want him in the house. Every adult in his life had the…

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Happy Father’s Day!

On this special day, Father’s Day, I hope all the fathers out there remember they are the “conductors of the family train!”  If you follow me, you know that another one of my favorite poems is by Rudyard Kipling “If.”  My dear friend and United States Air Force buddy sent me this poem.  Please enjoy!

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The Wisdom of a Farmer!

So many males, both young and old have lost their way.  The Industrial Revolution may have given us a more “modern” society, but it took away a very crucial time, the teaching and wisdom a father passes on to his son…..a “rite of passage.” Since then, every male has carried that as a “wound.”

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Grieving a Loss

The sudden loss of a loved one, relative, friend, co-worker, or classmate can be overwhelming.  It can put us in a state of shock, disbelief and feeling numb all over.

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Proud Veteran-USAF

At 18 years of age, just out of high school, me and my buddy Jay enlisted in the United States Air Force.  It was an easy decision for me; I was lost with no direction in my life.  Jay and I had a lot of adventures together, and this would prove to be the biggest and…

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