Core Value-Accountability

Along with honesty, empathy and integrity, I regard accountability a very important core value. The “Yes…but” Game Do you play the “yes…but” game at your house?  Too many times parents are quick to “move on” if their child has done something wrong.  “Yes, I wrecked the car mom…but it wasn’t my fault!” There’s no accountability!…

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Fantasy Son

  Every parent has hopes and dreams for their child; a fantasy!  You looked at your newborn boy and saw endless possibilities. He’ll be a doctor, star athlete, CEO of a corporation or President of the United States! The problem with this kind of thinking is that there is usually—in fact, always—a difference between this fantasy son you’ve created…

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Masculinity Is Not The Enemy

We’re hearing a lot these days about masculinity and boys.  Most of what’s being said I disagree with! Masculinity Masculinity is being attacked as a problem, a bad thing, that it’s toxic.  As a facilitator, researcher and male I find this disturbing!  Masculinity isn’t why a boy would walk into a school and begin shooting.  Masculinity…

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A Time To Reflect

I’ve never been one to do New Year Resolutions, but I do take time to “reflect” on the goals I set for each new year to measure my accomplishments! Here they are for 2017! Starting from the Top Let’s start with The Quest Project®, after all it’s the #1 program in my practice. I facilitated 62 adolescent…

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Domestic Violence and Abuse

Every year in October there is a focus on domestic violence.  I listen to stories of survival, most of the time women with children, and their horrific experiences.  I wonder why we only hear about these stories in October? Frightened Little Boy I grew up in the “South City,” if you’re from St. Louis you know exactly…

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“Shame”-A Bad Five Letter Word

Your adolescent son shouldn’t feel shame.  Sadly he most likely does.  How does this happen and why would he feel shame? In a recent interview I was asked this question “why are boys in trouble?”  One of many reasons is they carry shame.  The interviewer  was shocked and went on to ask, “How can a young boy feel shame about something…

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Homework Versus Video Games

Do you get excuses from your son on why his homework and/or his chores didn’t get done?  I have some suggestions that may help. “Just a Minute!” My guess is you hear “I will, just a minute” a lot!  Based on my experience with the boys I see, homework and chores are not his priority, video games…

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Raising Sons? Discipline vs Punishment

Discipline or Punishment? What’s the difference you ask!  There’s a big difference between discipline and punishment.  Punishment. So your son has broken the rules; he’s been caught drinking or smoking, maybe a bad report card?  You have to do “something,” he’ll have to be punished. The way to stop a child from misbehaving is to cause some…

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Raising Sons? Helping Solve the Mystery

Cracking the code!  Solving the mystery!  How would you like to know what your adolescent boy is missing as you witness him changing from a boy to a man?  He Needs a “Modern Day Rite of Passage” I’m often asked what is a “rite of passage?”  It’s a term that most people equate with times past.  We have forgotten the importance…

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Raising Sons? Does He Struggle With Anxiety?

  As a Licensed Professional Counselor(LPC), I see a fair number of clients with anxiety.  Maybe they lost a job or their marriage is failing.  Recently I am seeing adolescent boys on a regular basis struggling with anxiety. What Is Anxiety? In general, anxiety is a term used for nervousness, fear, apprehension and worry.  Chronic anxiety can lead to, or…

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