Posts Tagged ‘parenting boys’
The Absent Wound: When a Father Is Gone
The Absent Wound is the most visible of the five father-wound patterns. The father isn’t there. Through death, divorce, abandonment, incarceration, deployment, or distance, the boy grows up without the male presence he was developmentally wired to need. But what makes this wound complicated isn’t the absence itself. It’s what the boy decides about himself…
Read MoreThe Critical Wound: When Nothing Your Son Does Is Ever Enough
There’s a particular kind of father who is very much there. He shows up. He’s at the games, the parent-teacher conferences, the band concerts. He pays for the tutor. He helps with homework. From the outside, he looks like the model engaged dad. But the boy living with him knows something else. The boy…
Read MoreWhen Healing Looks Like Getting Worse
Why the First Weeks Are the Hardest—and Why That’s Actually Good I tell every parent the same thing before their son begins the Quest Project: “It’s going to get worse before it gets better.” They nod. They think they understand. Then Week 3 hits and they call me in a panic. “He was doing okay…
Read MoreThe Five Boys Who Changed My Life
Before I Had a Credential, I Had a Calling Before I was Dr. Clay, I was Captain Lessor-USAF. No PhD. No license. No program. No book. A guy in his twenties proudly serving his country who knew what it felt like to grow up without a father who showed up—and who couldn’t stop noticing the…
Read MoreWhy Your Son’s Anger Isn’t the Problem
The Emotion Everyone Treats and Nobody Understands He punched a hole in his bedroom wall last Tuesday. He’s been suspended twice this semester. He screams at his mother, slams doors, and when you try to talk to him, he looks at you with eyes so full of rage that you barely recognize your son. Everyone…
Read MoreThe Five Father Wounds—Which One Is Your Son Carrying?
Something is wrong with your son, and you can’t name it. He’s angry all the time-or he’s disappeared into his room and won’t come out. His grades have collapsed. He’s in trouble at school. Maybe he’s said something that scared you. You’ve tried everything-talking, consequences, therapy, backing off, pushing harder. Nothing sticks.
Read MoreParents: Meet the “New Nanny”
Are you busy raising your kids? If so, you have responsibilities that include entertaining, educating, and guiding! Likely you’ve provided your kids a phone (all the other kids have one) and allowed this phone, who I refer to as “the nanny,” to replace many of the roles a parent is responsible for. The phone has…
Read MoreHelping Boys Navigate Adolescence
When the counseling department at Wydown Middle School reached out and invited me to participate in their “Speaker Series;” focused on boys navigating adolescence, you know my answer was yes!
Read MoreThe Quest Project Online-Anger Work
In Module 5 of The Quest Project Online titled “Anger Work,” participants learn how to manage anger! Check out the sneak peek here.
Read MoreSchool’s Out-Now What?
Spring and summer are my favorite seasons; the days are longer, and the sun shines just a bit brighter! For many parents this time of year can be chaotic because SCHOOLS OUT! Where is my son, who is he with, and what is he doing!
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