Posts Tagged ‘wounded boys’
What Thirty Years of Working with Angry Boys Has Taught Me
When Everything Changed The first boy who changed everything was fourteen. Big for his age. Referred for “behavioral problems”—which is clinical shorthand for “nobody knows what to do with him.” He’d been expelled from two schools. His mother was exhausted. His stepfather didn’t want him in the house. Every adult in his life had the…
Read MoreForgiveness Without Reconciliation
It’s the question that stops every man in his tracks. I’ve heard it hundreds of times—in therapy sessions, in men’s groups, in quiet conversations after workshops. The words change, but the question doesn’t: Does healing mean I have to let my father back in and forgive him? The answer is no. And that…
Read MoreThe Five Father Wounds—Which One Is Your Son Carrying?
Something is wrong with your son, and you can’t name it. He’s angry all the time-or he’s disappeared into his room and won’t come out. His grades have collapsed. He’s in trouble at school. Maybe he’s said something that scared you. You’ve tried everything-talking, consequences, therapy, backing off, pushing harder. Nothing sticks.
Read MoreThe Wisdom of a Farmer!
So many males, both young and old have lost their way. The Industrial Revolution may have given us a more “modern” society, but it took away a very crucial time, the teaching and wisdom a father passes on to his son…..a “rite of passage.” Since then, every male has carried that as a “wound.”
Read MoreParenting Son(s)? Five Signs of Trouble
Periodically it’s good to reiterate the warning signs of trouble if you notice a change in your son. It could be typical adolescent/teenage angst; it could be something more serious.
Read MoreGrieving a Loss
The sudden loss of a loved one, relative, friend, co-worker, or classmate can be overwhelming. It can put us in a state of shock, disbelief and feeling numb all over.
Read MoreFeeling Your Feelings
Feelings! These are the “big four” and regardless of age, ethnicity, or gender, these basic four feelings – mad, sad, glad, and afraid – are appropriate for you. We need to feel our feelings, express our feelings and process those feelings, it’s healthy! Here’s why.
Read MoreParenting Tip: How to Bless Your Son
When was the last time you “blessed” your son? Take a few minutes to think about that question. We all get caught up in the everyday routines of life and it’s easy to forget that the “special moments” are what we look back on and cherish!
Read MoreParent(s)-Is Your Family “Shame Based?”
When I begin working with a family; usually regarding their son, during an initial assessment I can discern quickly if it’s a “shame based” family. Shame based families are about controlling behavior to conform (i.e. shame more to get behavior we want). Whether intentional or unintentional it’s fundamental that we clean that up first. Here’s why….
Read MoreLife is What YOU Make It!
Born the eldest of three to Russell and Doris Lessor, I grew up in a small south city neighborhood in St. Louis. On the outside we looked like a typical happy lower middle-class family, on the inside it was a nightmare of alcoholism and abuse. I didn’t grow up privileged, I grew up making a…
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