Tips for Moms
Masculinity Is Not The Enemy
We’re hearing a lot these days about masculinity and boys. Most of what’s being said I disagree with! Masculinity Masculinity is being attacked as a problem, a bad thing, that it’s toxic. As a facilitator, researcher and male I find this disturbing! Masculinity isn’t why a boy would walk into a school and begin shooting. Masculinity…
Read MoreAdolescent Son In Trouble? Final Step
Over the past 3 weeks I’ve laid out the steps to take if you suspect trouble with your adolescent son. Unfortunately, when the first three steps (boundaries & limits, counseling and intensive outpatient) have failed it’s time to move to the final step. The Final Step=Intensive Inpatient If you’ve reached this step with your adolescent son it’s…
Read MoreAdolescent Son In Trouble? Step Two
Last week in Step #1 we covered the importance of setting healthy boundaries & limits in conjunction with natural consequences. Many times, parents can avoid trouble with their adolescent son by starting there. When that doesn’t work, move to Step #2: Step #2=Seek Counseling Many boys don’t know how to deal with the pain that comes…
Read MoreAdolescent Son In Trouble? Step One
I’ve blogged about “signs your adolescent son could be in trouble.” Over the next few weeks I’ll dig into the steps and stages of escalation with a goal of you, the parent, nipping it in the bud! Step #1=Boundaries & Limits This is the first step that must be implemented in your adolescent son’s life. His…
Read MoreDomestic Violence and Abuse
Every year in October there is a focus on domestic violence. I listen to stories of survival, most of the time women with children, and their horrific experiences. I wonder why we only hear about these stories in October? Frightened Little Boy I grew up in the “South City,” if you’re from St. Louis you know exactly…
Read MoreParenting Advice-On Divorce
Are you divorced or going through a divorce? If children are involved be careful not to put them in the middle. I’m certain you’ve heard that before! Based on my experience the kids wind up in the middle most every time. It’s a sad place for them to be. PAS Parent alienation syndrome, or PAS is…
Read More“Shame”-A Bad Five Letter Word
Your adolescent son shouldn’t feel shame. Sadly he most likely does. How does this happen and why would he feel shame? In a recent interview I was asked this question “why are boys in trouble?” One of many reasons is they carry shame. The interviewer was shocked and went on to ask, “How can a young boy feel shame about something…
Read MoreHomework Versus Video Games
Do you get excuses from your son on why his homework and/or his chores didn’t get done? I have some suggestions that may help. “Just a Minute!” My guess is you hear “I will, just a minute” a lot! Based on my experience with the boys I see, homework and chores are not his priority, video games…
Read MoreParenting Boys? The 5 Signs of Trouble
Don’t ignore the warning signs, you may think your son is just going through a phase, but that’s not always the case. Your son could be in trouble. It may be typical angst; here’s the difference. Over the past 20 years I have helped countless troubled teens make the transition from boyhood to adult life with my program, The Quest Project. The Warning Signs Boys are…
Read MoreParenting Tip: Is Your Son Grieving?
Is Your Son Grieving a Loss? There are many definitions of grief, the one I like best is by The Grief Recovery Institute: “Grief is the normal and natural emotional reaction to loss or change of any kind. Of itself, grief is neither a pathological condition nor a personality disorder. Grief is the conflicting feelings caused by…
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