Parent(s)-Is Your Family “Shame Based?”

When I begin working with a family; usually regarding their son, during an initial assessment I can discern quickly if it’s a “shame based” family.  Shame based families are about controlling behavior to conform (i.e. shame more to get behavior we want). Whether intentional or unintentional it’s fundamental that we clean that up first. Here’s why….

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“The Train of Life”

Periodically I am moved by a poem or quote that I have read or received.  If you follow me, you know that one of those poems is by Rudyard Kipling “If.”  Recently one of my dear friends, my United States Air Force buddy sent me this.

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4 Parenting Tips: Raising Young Men 17-19

It’s not easy raising boys 11-13 and 14-16 years old.  However young men in the 17-19 age group are unique and I’ll tell you why.  They are (or should be) young adults at this point.  That doesn’t mean you stop parenting but more importantly, he needs your help “preparing for” critical next steps.  The most…

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5 Parenting Tips: For Boys 11-13

Looking for parenting tips on what’s happening with your 11-13 year old son? I’ve worked with over 2,000 boys for more than 20 years in The Quest Project® a 10-week Modern Day Rite of Passage® program.   We meet in age appropriate groups: 11 to 13, 14 to 16, and 17 to 19-year-olds. Here I focus…

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Parenting Tip: Peer Pressure and Your Son

It’s time for a new school year to begin.  As you monitor grades, homework and schedules, don’t forget to watch for social changes that may be related to peer pressure. Peer pressure is by definition: Social pressure by members of one’s peer group to take a certain action, adopt certain values, or otherwise conform in…

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9 Reasons for Modern-Day Rite of Passage

A rite of passage for a young male is a transition, and in its simplest terms means “changing from a boy to a man.” Unfortunately today in our society we have forgotten and moved away from recognizing and honoring this time in a young man’s life.  The result is Our Boys are in Trouble! If you read…

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The Special Bond of Father and Son

Father and son share an incredibly special bond, it happens naturally!  Be careful not to miss the especially important role you play in your son’s life. Father and Son Over the years working with adolescent boys in The Quest Project® I am constantly reminded of the important role dad plays in the healthy development of…

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Raising Sons? Teach Integrity

With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt.  -Zig Ziglar Truer words were never spoken! Core Values So what does this have to do with raising sons?  Integrity is a core value; it must be taught…

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Single Parent Mom Raising Son(s)

These days many single parent Moms are doing the best they can raising their adolescent son(s).  They don’t need me telling them how hard it is, but they do need help understanding what a boy goes through as he transitions to a man.  This is especially true when dad is physically or emotionally absent.

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Simply….. “If”

“If” you have been subscribed to my newsletter since 2015, you’ve read this before!  If not, you’re in for a treat.  It’s time for me to share again as it remains one of my favorite poems.  Originally published in 1910 by Rudyard Kipling, it’s still very relevant today.  Enjoy!

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