This is an extremely crucial time for our adolescent boys. Let me repeat, “our boys are in trouble!” As parents, it’s time to be very careful and diligent; refuse to allow your sons to be labeled.
The Trajectory is Toxic
Please understand that if we, as a society, continue this trajectory–the path followed by a projectile flying or an object moving under the action of given forces– of male bashing with such force we will land right where we are today and it may never be corrected. Males being labeled, referred to, and scrutinized as TOXIC-because they’re masculine is simply unnecessary!
As I’ve delved into the various articles, blogs and messages being shared, the first thing that stands out is, the majority of the content is written and/or shared by female writers. One of my very early realizations when I became a counselor was that it is very difficult to be an expert of the opposite sex. That goes for both genders! I understand women just enough to know men and women are wired very differently.
Men-Plug Back In
Young men are hungry for a male mentor and/or role model in their life. I’ve done the research and I’ve counseled over 2000 boys since 2000. Lessor, C. (2017) “Difference of a Counselor Facilitated Adolescent Boys Group on Behavior.”
- One in three male adolescents’ lives in a home without a strong male model (Cohen & Piquero, 2009; as cited in state and federal agency documents).
- On average fathers spend 10 minutes a week with their sons. (Needs expressed by male adolescents and expected from their fathers (Dickerson, 2014) included: (a) support, (b) give guidance, (c) hold them accountable, (d) to motivate, (e) teach certain skills and gender roles, and (f) share a father-son bond. Most of these needs went unmet in high school and negatively impacted the male adolescents emotionally, behaviorally, and academically).
Why is this happening, because they’re being raised, counseled and taught by females. In the process of marketing male counselors to become certified The Quest Project® trainers, I found that there are very few practicing; just over 200 in the entire state of Missouri; and nationwide a mere 14,000!
Our male population has stepped out of professions like counseling and teaching. Sadly, many have chosen to step out of their role as dad.
I’m calling on all you men to get plugged back in-and I’m calling on you to do it now!
Example: Call to Action
When writing “Generation of Men-How to raise your son to be a healthy man among men“ back in late 2017, I knew it was a very important book for fathers with sons. This quote from one dad after reading:
It didn’t take long before I realized that this was a personal “call to action,” for which I’m grateful. My son just entered a new phase in his life, he just turned 12. I went to bed last night committed to some new practices and ways of being for me, personally.
That comment stays with me, and I know one young man is going to benefit from his dad reading the book and discovering how important he is to his son.
I wonder if that dad who wrote this has read the new Executive Order on “Establishing a Gender Policy Council” the new White House administration signed. I wonder if you’ve seen it; if you’ve read it? Do you know the Council focus is purely on women and girls; that men and boys aren’t mentioned?
Do the rights of both men and women, boys and girls matter equally? They do to me, and they should matter to you.