Parent(s)-Is Your Family “Shame Based?”

When I begin working with a family; usually regarding their son, during an initial assessment I can discern quickly if it’s a “shame based” family.  Shame based families are about controlling behavior to conform (i.e. shame more to get behavior we want). Whether intentional or unintentional it’s fundamental that we clean that up first. Here’s why….

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Teach Your Son Accountability

Teaching your son accountability is as important as teaching honesty, empathy and integrity. Often accountability gets overlooked as a core value; when in fact it’s one of the most important!

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The Quest Project-Testimonial

There is no better compliment or greater satisfaction than receiving a testimonial from one of my past clients.  Periodically I will hear from a parent, in this case, it comes from a young man who is in his second year of a PhD program at Harvard!

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Meet “Phoney:” The New Nanny!

Let me introduce you to “Phoney” the new reliable, relatively inexpensive nanny.  Its very busy these days; responsibilities include entertaining, and in some cases educating your son.  Not my son, what’s he talking about you ask?  Does your son have a phone?  If the answer is “yes,” you’ve likely allowed the phone (who I refer…

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5 Parenting Tips: For Boys 11-13

Looking for parenting tips on what’s happening with your 11-13 year old son? I’ve worked with over 2,000 boys for more than 20 years in The Quest Project® a 10-week Modern Day Rite of Passage® program.   We meet in age appropriate groups: 11 to 13, 14 to 16, and 17 to 19-year-olds. Here I focus…

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Parenting Tip: Peer Pressure and Your Son

It’s time for a new school year to begin.  As you monitor grades, homework and schedules, don’t forget to watch for social changes that may be related to peer pressure. Peer pressure is by definition: Social pressure by members of one’s peer group to take a certain action, adopt certain values, or otherwise conform in…

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9 Reasons for Modern-Day Rite of Passage

A rite of passage for a young male is a transition, and in its simplest terms means “changing from a boy to a man.” Unfortunately today in our society we have forgotten and moved away from recognizing and honoring this time in a young man’s life.  The result is Our Boys are in Trouble! If you read…

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The Special Bond of Father and Son

Father and son share an incredibly special bond, it happens naturally!  Be careful not to miss the especially important role you play in your son’s life. Father and Son Over the years working with adolescent boys in The Quest Project® I am constantly reminded of the important role dad plays in the healthy development of…

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Raising Sons? Teach Integrity

With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt.  -Zig Ziglar Truer words were never spoken! Core Values So what does this have to do with raising sons?  Integrity is a core value; it must be taught…

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Feelings: Mad, Sad, Glad and Afraid

These are the “BIG FOUR” feelings!  Regardless of age or gender, these basic four emotions – mad, sad, glad, and afraid – are appropriate for you.  Feeling, expressing and processing your feelings is healthy and highly recommended! Here’s why. Feeling Mad Feeling “mad” or angry about something?  Oh no!  This feeling scares everyone.  I’m amazed…

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