Are you a healthy, responsible example for your adolescent son?
Message for Fathers: You Are a Gift
What a special opportunity a dad has in the life of his son. I am reminded of the important role dad plays in the healthy development of their sons every day. Sure I have research and data that can prove it, but the proof is in the thousands of boys that have gone through The Quest Project®. The proof is hearing them talk about their dad and wishing “dad had more time for him.”
How many fathers realize that a boy will enter a stage of development known as “Identity-vs-Confusion” which starts at approximately 11 years of age (that can vary)? Additionally, there is the “Zone of Proximal Development(ZPD),” basically without going into a deep academic dive, it is where he needs dad (or a healthy male mentor) to mentor him through these developmental stages. WHY: Because when you put these 2 together it becomes the most crucial stage of an adolescent boy’s life!
Don’t Let This Time Slip Away
There is a brief window of time that your son is vulnerable and most open to learning; if missed it’s a lost opportunity that is hard to recover from! If you read my blog The Best Dad you know I recommend Dad spend 3-5 hours a week one-on-one with their son, at a minimum.
I encourage, and even implore you, Dad, to get plugged in! Be present with your son, he needs you (even if he doesn’t act the way you want him to).
Being a father raising children and providing for your family is a big job and at times a heavy burden. You play a unique role and have a responsibility that must be taken seriously. In my practice, I hear many reasons why dad feels he doesn’t have time to spend with his son. Do these sound familiar?
- I work long hours.
- I’m divorced and feel shut out.
- My son doesn’t “act like” he wants to be with me.
- I simply don’t know how to or what’s expected.
- I’ll just leave it up to Mom.
“You had a son who needs you – not so you would need him!”
Use this time to play golf, fish, cook, run, play video games, read, go to a movie, grab an ice cream, dinner, lunch – it doesn’t matter just do it together! Reminder: That’s every week, 3-5 hours minimum.
You Are Important
I want you to understand how important you are as a father! In your busy life remember to spend time with your family, and yes specifically your son!
I hope if you, like me, had a bad example of a father you will make it a goal to be a better dad – because you can!
Need some help? Check out my book “Saving Our Sons” A Parent’s Guide to Preparing Boys for Success, it has great tips and advice. And my new book (in the works) specifically for fathers will be out soon!