The Quest Project: A Parent’s Point of View

Typically, my posts are centered around processes and tips to help parents raising adolescent boys.  A very important component of The Quest Project are the five parent meetings that are scheduled throughout the 10-weeks their son is attending Quest.

Parents Are Key to Success!

I received this email from a Mom that likely echo’s what every mom feels when we “get to work” repairing a broken family dynamic.

Hey!!! Dr.Clay!!!!

This is _____, my son ___ went through Quest. And what a quest it has been. Thank you again for using your gift to help us “messed up parents” reconnect with our boys. I have continued to use what I learned through the program. My son and I are still continuing to build a healthy Mom and son relationship now that I know how to do that properly! He is going back to school, instead of homeschooling! He also now has a job! We help guide him through all these first steps when he needs it (like applications, resumes, and tax papers).  We know our boundaries and what becomes controlling instead of supporting. We keep that in check by reminding ourselves that these are his dreams, not ours. Things are not always perfect but when it goes awry I think about where I failed him and how to turn it around. Also, he is planning to move out after he graduates. Now, the Mom before Quest would have had a meltdown, shamed him and played on my own insecurities to keep him here…… Mom after Quest realizes we have raised him to be confident, self-assured, focused and living his dreams!

I remember the first meeting. I was not very happy with you. Could not believe you were telling me that I was the problem. I even told my husband afterwards that he can take our son…. and I was not going to be a part of that crap. Once I calmed down I realized there was truth in what you said to me.  I’ve always believed in no candy coating! Tell it like it is! It takes a lot of heart to tell someone a truth without distorting it or trying to soothe someone. Just rip the band aid off for goodness sakes! Well…. you did just that. Thats when you gained my trust and respect. I knew you would tell me the truth even if it ruffled my feathers.  As a family we pressed forward. And boy am I glad I did! Before, I was blind to how I failed my son and Quest helped me to see exactly where I was falling short and how to change it. Now, I can’t unsee it. These tools, once opened are always there in the forefront of our mind. Always ready to grab when needed. Thank you for this lifelong gift that you have given our family. Your legacy will be passed on through our family and I know countless other families as well.
Be blessed,

That’s a Winner

When I hear from a family that continues to use and incorporate the lessons learned at The Quest Project I’m humbled.  It’s easier to slip back into old habits and “hope” things will work out.  But look what can happen when you commit!