Wouldn’t it be great if there was a recipe to follow for raising your adolescent son? We follow recipes all the time when we cook, in fact we use caution when “winging it” in cooking as it can be a disaster!
The same can be said for “winging it” when raising an adolescent boy; I’ve spent my adult life researching and educating myself to help parents raising son(s). I highly recommend following this well tested recipe!
For most recipes you need to have all the basics on hand; there are no substitutes or replacements for these. When raising children the basic ingredients that you need to provide from birth to 11 years of age are these:
These basic ingredients when provided consistently and in good measure assures you that your final product will be great! Stay stocked up; running low is too risky!
At approximately 11 years old developmentally things begin to change for adolescent males. It’s time to stock up on ingredients and get more supplies. I suggest you consider enlisting a healthy/qualified “sous chef,” the recipes are about to get more advanced, time-consuming and complicated!
To the above basic recipe you’ll need to add these:
- healthy male role model/example
- modern day rite of passage
- to be heard
- natural consequences
- place to process anger
Measurements are important here, this “advanced recipe” stage requires you to sharpen your skills. You know your son better than anyone, the recipe will need to be modified for each situation! Here’s an example:
Recipe for: “an angry 11 yr. old who is talking back and punching his sister”
- start with the basic recipe
- 4 cups healthy male role model (3-5 hours week minimum)
- 2 cups natural consequences (discipline not punishment)
- 1 Tbsp. punching bag (place to process anger)
Dr. (Chef) Clay Tips
Raising adolescent boys can be very challenging, especially in today’s environment. It’s critical to recognize that our young boys are not getting the attention they need at home and at school. The sad reality is, they are being forgotten, they know it and they feel it. Stock up on all the ingredients above.
Pick up a copy of my book(s) “Saving Our Sons-A Parent’s Guide to Preparing Boys for Success,”and “Generation of Men-how to raise your son to be a healthy man among men.” They are both loaded with “recipes” to help you help your son succeed.