A rite of passage for a young male is a transition, and in its simplest terms means “changing from a boy to a man.”
Unfortunately today in our society we have forgotten and moved away from recognizing and honoring this time in a young man’s life. The result is Our Boys are in Trouble!
If you read my blog The Quest Project-An Overview and books “Saving Our Sons” and “Generation of Men,” I detail the elements of a Modern-Day Rite of Passage™ which is exactly what I facilitate in The Quest Project®. Boys today are not being led in a healthy way by their dad, a seasoned elder or wise mentor through this process. As a result, they and their parents are suffering.
Every Boy “Needs” a Rite of Passage
Here are 9 significant reasons why:
- Boys begin to transition from boy to man at approximately age eleven. They need a healthy, knowledgeable and responsible mentor, preferably dad, to help them navigate and transition to a responsible man.
- Young men need goals in their life. They have an innate desire to set goals which allows them to feel a sense of achievement. Without a focus they drift.
- He is angry. Anger is a common emotion (mostly due to the hormone testosterone which can cause aggression) for boys 11-18 years of age. Anger isn’t a bad thing; it’s how he’s taught to release it that makes the difference. Simply telling a boy “don’t be angry” is not effective or an option; “don’t be” messages indicate he’s broken.
- Conflict is a part of life, in fact it’s the #1 issue in relationships. Your son needs to know how to resolve a conflict in a healthy way and find resolution.
- We all have a gift, it’s what makes us unique and different; your son needs to know what gifts he was born with. He needs to know and embrace his “Golden Gift.”
- When boys learn empathy, they gain a better sense of their own limitations and the limitations of others. He needs to be taught how to treat others.
- Young men are curious about relationships and what it means to be in a relationship. To love and be in-love with someone, and the difference between the two.
- Boys need to know and understand the value system; they need to identify their core values and how important they are in their life.
- Equipped with his life mission gives him purpose every day as he journeys through life.
Every Parent Needs to Know “Why”
These are all especially important to a boy. A modern-day rite of passage teaches him what to expect and how to deal with feelings as he transitions. If he is not taught, he’ll look to someone else or worse “try to figure it out” on his own or with his peers.
A Modern-Day Rite of Passage™ done in the right way, led by a healthy, knowledgeable example will help him transition through the next phase of his life with less confusion and turbulence (without the use of medication, or self-medicating!).
If you haven’t read my books yet; they provide valuable detail and insight to what your son NEEDS! They’re available on Amazon!